58: My Nervous System Needs PTO

What if softness wasn’t an escape, but a strategy for days that won’t slow down? Tajuana opens up about rebuilding calm inside a loud life—motherhood with two energetic boys, a body moving through hormonal phases, and a schedule that never quite empties. Instead of chasing an idealized version of ease, she walks through a practical soft-life toolkit: habit stacking that keeps essentials on autopilot, cycle-aware planning that honors shifting energy, and tiny joy rituals that reset the nervous system in minutes.

We unpack how stress tricks us into dropping the routines that work, and how to make them frictionless again by anchoring new behaviors to ones you already do. Think: checking your cycle phase before email, journaling after skincare, and slipping in a short meditation without re-negotiating with yourself. Tajuana also shares what she’s learning about menstrual phases—why luteal days call for warmth, simpler tasks, and more rest—and how period tracking apps can guide food, movement, and focus choices without becoming rigid rules.

This conversation gets specific about micro-moments that matter: a quiet lap through a bookstore, fresh flowers on the counter, a vegetable-heavy salad that sparks genuine delight, and the grounding power of breath and mantras when the room turns rowdy. The theme isn’t perfection; it’s pattern recognition and kindness—choosing inputs that soothe instead of spike. If you’ve felt “always on,” this is a gentle blueprint for building calm into the cracks of a busy day, protecting your energy with boundaries, and finding pockets of peace that actually fit your season.

If this resonates, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs softer edges this week, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find the show.

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Chapters

• 0:44 Setting The Scene Solo
• 1:26 Defining The Soft Life
• 2:58 Motherhood, Anxiety, And Noise
• 4:46 Boundaries, Therapy, And Acupuncture
• 6:40 Redefining Rest After Kids
• 8:53 Stopping What Works When Stressed
• 10:54 Hormones And Cycle Awareness
• 14:25 Period Tracking Apps And Tips
• 18:18 Habit Stacking For Daily Calm

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:44

Hi guys. Welcome to another episode of Turn the Page Podcast. This is one of your co-hosts, Tawana Page. It is just me today. I was saying on the other few episodes before this. Um I have a bunch of recordings lined up today. Sherry wasn't able to join me today, but I just have a bunch of things I wanted to share with you guys and to talk about. I was like, why not just hop on here and share it with you guys? Uh yeah, here we are. So haven't we ever talked about this topic, but we're gonna talk about it today. So this is just like a it might be new for both of us, all of us. Um we're gonna be talking about the soft girl era. So essentially, not even soft girl, but like soft life, soft life, um, in this current season of life, like real life, and what that looks for me right now. So obviously, if you know me, if you don't know me, I'm a mom of two, six and three-year-old, both boys. So I also just did an episode last week, um, and it'll come out before this one, about being a boy mom and how I'm the only girl in the house. Um, and how their dad and both of them are just like all three like the boyest boys ever. And I am like the g not the girlest girl ever, like there's more there are some girls out here that are girlier than I am, but I'm closer to a girl than I am a boy in that sense. But this is just like my nervous system is always activated when they are around because they're just like running all over the place. So like wrestling, jumping off the bed, jumping off the couch, and I'm just like I my anxiety and my nervous system cannot keep up. Um playing ball in the house and just like and just like running over to like hug me and tackle me and um like unprompted out of nowhere, which is precious, but it I just need some warning. But yeah, needing a soft life currently lying in bed, or like I'm sitting up recording this, but full disclosure, since I am a woman, I still bleed, I'm getting my period this week, and for some reason, this month, this period, I am feeling it all over my body. So I'm just not feeling the best right now, but I still had to show up for you guys. So that's an example of a soft error. I am home by myself right now, the house is quiet and empty, and I can think. Like I just want to do all the things, but really want to do nothing because I like this is so rare. So this is like my soft life right now in a house full of chaos, and then my nervous system can it finally remembers this is what peace feels like. So that actively working on setting boundaries, like I've been therapy again, just like all the things I've been doing acupuncture more, like life has just been really it's been life and lately, lightly. It's been lifing lately. It's been quite challenging recently and lately. Um, I feel like the whole world has just activated lately, and my life is as well. But I'm trying, guys. I mean, I'm only human, I'm trying. For me, like the soft life used to literally mean because like before kids, it was just like, oh, I can just like lay around and watch TV all day, binge on Netflix, and just like do all the things, go to Target. But now, since being a mom, can't do that. I mean, even when like I'm home by myself, I have no desire to lay around and watch TV. I have a desire to lay around and read and record and work on my blog and write and like that's just different, right? It's different for me now. Like that's my soft life now. And when life gets hard, like still have the kids to take care of, still have bills to pay, of responsibilities. I feel like that is my motivator though to like lean into my soft life because it's like none of that will stop the bills, disabilities, and like taking care of the kids, like none of that will stop. But it's like especially like my kids, because obviously they need me so much right now. Um, it's like my motivator just to like go into my toolbox of things and life gets really hard to help me because when life gets hard. Like I don't know if I do it intentionally, but like I usually stop doing the things that are working because I feel like it's just too much effort at that point sometimes. And I'm like, I just don't feel like doing XYZ when I know that it'll actually help me and help me feel better. Some reason my brain is just wired to be like, uh, we're not gonna do this when you feel not your best, even though we know that it helps. So I'm trying to like work through that and just like honor what my body needs, and also this is just like an off week anyway, because I'm getting my period. So I've also been learn this that also looks different for me now in my soft life. I've been researching and heavily learning about hormones and the different cycles and phases that women have, and how men's cycles are literally 24 hours and they reset every day. Like a woman's cycle, like on average is 28 days. And I say on average because every woman's different. Some of some of the cycles are longer, 35 days, or some of them are shorter. Like every woman's cycle is different, and within those cycles, there's four phases the folliger, the luthial, the menstrual, and the ovulation. Set them out of order. I know the menstrual is your first one because it's day one to five. Um, and the one, the last one is the luthial, because it's right before your menstrual. That's the last one. And I think ovulation is before that, and then the folliger. Yeah. So I knew none of this in school, none of it at all. They teach a sign health class. But anyway, my soft life now is honoring where my body and my mind both are in those four different phases of my cycle. And I track my period so it tells you like what cycle and what phase you're in. So that has not been a problem. That's been really easy, actually. But if you don't have if you don't want to track it on the app, you can like write down your journal, like when you get your period, and like how you're feeling that week, and then like the week after, and the week after and the week after, and like just make see the pattern. But having the app helps. There's so many different apps. I use Lively, which I've talked about before in the podcast. There's what's the other one? Flow, F L O. Great. But you can also use the app to track your period. Um, there's tons of apps out there in track your period. Like just go to your either if you have Android or Apple, go to like the App Store, whatever it is on your phone, and just type in like period app. And it'll bring up so many, 'cause there's so many, and most of them are free. Like until you have to like get into like the different features you want to use. But some people pay for it because it's like helpful for them. But lively is free and it tracks everything. And then it um tells you what to eat, what to do, and like how to move your body during like I'm in the luthial phase now. Um my period is due tomorrow on a twenty-eight-day cycle. So for example, like the eating that's best for this phase are bananas, probiotics, guava, black beans, corn, just like random things. And if you click on it, it'll tell you why it's beneficial during that phase. Warm tea. So, for example, warm tea. Do this men soothes menstrual cramps, it supports digestion, it promotes relaxation and sleep. It's an antioxidant property. Yeah, so that, and then let me see. Oh, for the doing during this phase. Vision board, organized workspace, live concert, prep night, double check, take breaks. That's funny because it says take breaks when it tells you to go to a live concert. And there's tidy up, share responsibilities, board games, self-care night, skin exfoliation, simple tasks, deep work. Some of these podcasts was one of them. That's funny. Always podcasting though. It's saying that it's audio motivation, it expands your mind, it's an emotional uplift, it's learning on learning on the go, it's community connection. So this is either tuning into one, but I'm recording one now, so I don't know if that was the same. But anyway, that and then for moving my body during this time, it has suggested running, low intensity workout, Pilates, stretching, skating, nature walk, hiking, walking, yoga, bar, swimming. So today's the last day of my cycle, and if my period starts tomorrow, it'll be day one. So the first day of your period is day one of your cycle. But yes. So it's definitely helped me tremendously. So I consider this part of like my soft error because I am learning about my period and my hormones and just how like things make me feel and just everything. And I just love it. It has helped so much for me. Um, you can also track your symptoms if you need to in the app. I do not. Um, I don't know why. I just don't. But it has helped so much and I love that that is now part of my soft life error because I again never learned about this until no idea, just knew that it was like one week out of the month. But I was like, great, this is gonna be hell for a week. But then also the week before was also hell, like PMF, but also recently I've realized that like the week before my period, I get really depressed, like super depressed. It seems like it comes out of nowhere, but it's like the beginning of that week before, and then it's all the way until the first day of my period, which is like the following week. So that sucks, super sucky, but I've been talking to my doctor about it, and we're gonna do some things, but something I'm also learning about myself, it's not just oh, you're crazy during this time. It's like for various reasons, and I've been journaling more, and that's part of my soft era. I've been journaling more, I do that in the morning, I've been trying to meditate, been trying to add that in. I don't know if you guys have heard of habit stacking. I've heard of it a lot in the personal development and wellness space. But if you don't know what it is, it's essentially like you already have a habit of, you know, like brushing your teeth in the morning and brushing it at night. Brushing them at night. Uh especially definitely like brushing them in the morning. That's like you just you're an autopilot, you just do it, you don't think about it, you just do it. So for mine, it's brushing my teeth and taking my birth control and my allergy medicine in the morning um before I get in the shower. When I get out of the shower, I do my face um routine and my skin routine, and then I take my vitamins. So those are all things that I do in the morning that I don't think about, I just do it. So if I wanted to add like something new to my morning routine, I would add it in on top of like the habits that I already do and don't have to think about. So it's like I'm just moving on to the next thing. That actually like helps if you're trying to add a new habit into you your life. And that's what I've been doing in the morning. Like I'll journal on my phone and I'll look at the period tracking app to see like what phase I'm in, to see like what they're suggesting for that phase and see if how that's gonna like intertwine with my day. Um, I check a few horoscope apps, which are just like fun to me, and then I journal. And then my ideal plan was to meditate like after journaling. I have not been doing that, but that's essentially what I want to do. So I will again try to add that hab stack that habit onto that. And then I will go brush my teeth and take my birth control and take my allergy medicine and then shower and then come out and do my skincare routine and then take my vitamins and address and start the day and get my water. So it's like if I wanted to add something like meditating, I can throw that into like something on top of the habits that I already have in the morning that I don't think about anymore. Just do. I'm just an autopilot. Um, so if you're looking to add a new habit to something that you already just to your life, think about the things that you do without even like thinking about you just do it, there's no question. Like if you want to start flossing maybe at night and you already brush at night, maybe you can floss before or after you brush, probably before. Or I just like see where it works for you, just like adding that habit in. You can just grab your water bottle and just start chugging your water. So, yeah, this is just my soft error. I've been trying to read more, just did an episode about what I'm reading right now and stuff. And I also haven't watched TV in like months, which I'm very proud of. It wasn't intentional, just like I haven't had time and I've just prefer to read when I'm not recording or writing or working. Just prefer to read more. That's part of my soft error as well. And getting into like new genres of books, I can talk about fantasy, and I just ordered two books about our African history and getting into that. I don't know. Please share with me uh and Cherie and us if you are in your soft error, if you ever have been, and what you did and what you're doing and what that entails for you. So, like I said, my nervous system is like always activated when my children are around just because they're just boys and their kids. But like obviously our nervous systems were not meant to always be on. Um because it's bad for you. Cue, anxiety, depression. So we all deserve to feel like softness even in the chaos, and that there's like something like even little you can do in the middle of the chaos. Maybe if it's like deep breathing or just like reciting mo things to yourself over and over again, or just like a mantra or an affirmation you can recite to yourself either out loud or like in your head to like bring you back down, bring you back down to being grounded in the midst of like that chaos, or if it's just like not a chaotic moment, but like your life feels chaotic at the moment, or is chaotic at the moment, and you just have so much going on, but you still have responsibilities, children, bills, like it's just like that's just how life is. It's like your life is chaotic, but you still have all these other things going on, like those things don't stop. So sometimes it's gonna feel like it's a lot, and you just need to take a beat and take a step back and be like, Okay, what can I control right now? And when can I not control? Um and most of the time the control answer is you. You can control yourself, and what you cannot control is other people. So what can you do to control yourself in the chaos and in the mess? Like I said, deep breathing, or if it's like even if it's like ten minutes before you usually wake up just to do some yoga, just to move your body, or like whatever you need whatever that looks, whatever that softness looks like for you. Because our nervous systems were not made to be on 24-7 like they are currently. It's just it's awful. And you feel I feel it in my body personally, um, just getting ramped up and just there's a lot going on, but it doesn't mean that we have to like be swallowed by it. Like we can still find like little joy. Speaking of that, yesterday I needed to um did I record her? No, I did not record yesterday. I was editing yesterday, editing episodes yesterday, and I needed a break. And that for me involved like getting out of the house. So I went to Barnes and Noble to walk around. It was absolutely delightful. And then I walked to Trader Joe's and brought myself fresh flowers. Absolutely delightful. And then I walked to get a salad at Chopped, and that was also delightful. And it was just nice to get out of the house, like alone, and I brought fresh flowers, brought them home, put them in a vase, two vases, vases, vases, and it was amazing. I didn't buy a book from Barts and Noble, but just like walking around there and like different looking at the different sections and just like like time just stopped, and it was just amazing, and that calmed me down, it calmed my nervous system down, and it was a soft it was a soft piece for me in my day. And it's like the small things like fresh flowers, it was just like the small joys. And the chopped salad was absolutely phenomenal, not an ad, but I have been trying, I have been slacking on meal prepping and eating fruits and veggies like I used to, as in like a couple weeks ago. Been slacking majorly because I'm human, life, I'm human. But the salad that I had yesterday was literally all vegetables and sweet potato, and it was so good, so good, and with like their chopped vinaigrette or something, I forget what it's called. Oh my gosh, it was so good. I have never been so like amazed by a bowl of vegetables, and then I had like a bag of broccoli a whole bag of broccoli with my dinner. Like it was, guys, that salad would be dreaming about it. It was so good. It was their chopped blend for the base. It was like red cabbage, kale, arugula, spinach, romaine, and then I got broccoli, roasted broccoli, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, and parmesan cheese. That was only non-vegetable for parmesan cheese. Oh my gosh, when I tell you that hit the spot of it filled the void of my veggie void. It was amazing. It was so good. Probably won't buy it again today because it was kind of pricey, but it is just what I needed yesterday. It is just what I needed. And sometimes it's like just random things like that. Like I literally was like, I need to leave the house. I was like, Well I'm gonna go get a salad. So it doesn't always have to be planned, it could just be like, you know, a random adventurous that could be adventurous, like I walked to the bookstore, like then I walked to Trader Joe's, and then I drove to get a salad. But it was beautiful, it was amazing. And if I could like find things like that throughout my day to do like even like half of that, even if that's just like taking a little bit more time to write in my journal, or like writing a second time in my journal, or going for a walk, something like that, like those little pockets of softness are literally what's keeping me sane and afloat right now during this season of my life. But this two shell passed, nothing is permanent, and here we are. Guys, thank you for joining me on my rant about my softness error that I had just it's the first time I've talked about it, so thank you for sticking with me. If you have lasted this long, guys, in the 24 minutes that I've been talking, please like, listen, share, subscribe, and review. And I'd you know, we'd really love a five-star review on this pod. Like we are five star women, okay? We just we love it. Yep, I'll talk to you.