Why Are You Handing Me Trash While I Drive

Motherhood can feel like living in 20-minute blocks while everything around you keeps moving. I’m recording solo today while Sheree is deep in the newborn phase, and I’m honestly naming the thing so many moms feel but rarely say out loud: parenting is chaotic, ridiculous, and somehow we still adapt.

We get into the real mechanics behind that chaos, from kids eating in the car and handing you trash mid-drive to the constant shuffle of laundry, house tasks, and the never-ending question of what to do with them next. I share a mindset shift that came up in therapy and in my own “Chatty” check-ins: when you’re not gaining traction on your goals, it doesn’t always mean you’re failing. It often means you need better systems. That idea connects to everything from weekend routines to the daily pivot when yesterday’s plan stops working.

We also talk about the invisible work of being the default parent: managing appointment scheduling, relying on reminder emails, double-booking by accident, and running your life through Google Calendar and a paper planner just to stay afloat. I even share a small school-lunch slip that proves how fast the mental load can pile up, even when you’re usually on top of it. If you’ve been feeling mom burnout, overwhelmed by routines, or stretched thin by family logistics, this one will feel like a deep exhale.

Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs to hear it, and leave a review so more parents can find Turn the Page Podcast. What system keeps your house running when the wheels start to come off?

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Welcome to Turn the Page Podcast. Sisters, Best Friends, and Friends.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

With relatable episodes that feel like you're chatting with two of your closest friends or sisters. We turn the page for different topics about adulthood.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Anyhow. And finding itself again through my friends. Favorite files of unread library books and endless Amazon package delivery. Real, honest, and a little bit. Talk about it all.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

So grab your favorite drink, put the kids to bed, lace up your stuff for whatever you need to do, and join us. We can't wait to connect with you.

Solo Update And Newborn News

Why Motherhood Feels So Chaotic

Car Messes And Real Life Logistics

Therapy Insight Better Systems

Appointments Calendars And The Mental Load

School Lunch Planning And Default Parenting

Boy Mom Life And Closing

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Welcome to Turn the Page Podcast. This is co-host Tawana Page, and it's another solo episode today because the other co-host, Sheree, just had her second baby a few days ago. So she is in newborn phase again, adjusting, having two kids phase. But don't worry, guys, she will be back. She'll be back to share her experience and just yeah, just hang tight. She'll be back. Probably in the summer. So you'll be hearing a lot of me solo for a bit. But if you guys don't mind bang, I don't mind. But right now, my children are in my oldest room and they're playing together. And I asked them to please lower it down because I was recording. And why can I still hear them from the other room? So yeah. Today's episode is about this. Like, why is motherhood so chaotic and ridiculous and crazy? But we just somehow adapt. Like I'm sitting here with my coffee and my water and an ice pack on my back because, you know, life. But like, why is it so crazy? Why is it so chaotic? Like, I'll share one of Cherie's experiences that I'm sure she won't mind. She texted me a few days ago and she's like, Oh, like, I have two kids. Like, I just what? What happened? It's wild. I was like, Yeah, it took me a minute to grasp that too. When I had my second, but it's just it's crazy. Like, motherhood is not for the fan part. You have to do things like in chunks and pockets. Like, I'm sitting here recording now for probably only like 20-25 minutes for as long as I can keep my children out of the room and busy so I can record because that's life. It's just crazy. So many things. For example, driving in the car, they're in the back in their car seats, they're eating in the in the car, which I stopped at as of yesterday because I got my car detailed. Shout out to Detail Me Now. Thank you, thank you. The second time using them, and they're so great. I will put them in the show notes. They are so great. They come to you, so it's mobile, and it's fantastic. Um so before that, when my car was still like a dumpster fire, I allowed them to eat in the car. And when they were done their trash, I would hear, hear mommy, and they would hand me the trash while I'm driving. What am I supposed to do with this? Like, keep it back there in your seat. It's like they just can't have anything back there that they don't want to look at. And I'm like, Well, have you seen my passenger seat? I have all your crap up here that I certainly don't want to look at, but I keep it anyway. Just so many things. And it's just a few things. I was talking to my therapist yesterday, and and then the session there are like a few things that I have goals for to accomplish, and I was getting really frustrated because I wasn't seeing any traction. And I actually consulted Chatty about this, which is Chat GBT, but also my therapist, about how there's a few things in my life that I have found traction in and that like I'm good with, like the podcasts and the newsletters, like those are great, those are on schedule, like I feel good about those, but there's some other goals that I want to accomplish. And I just feel like I've started some and I just couldn't like finish anything. And Chatty and my therapist both said, Hey, it's because you need better systems. Like, it's you're not failing because you're bad at this, you're failing or not accomplishing this because you need to have better systems in place. And I think that's what motherhood is all about. Just like figuring out systems that work for you. Like, there's a million things like today. I need to go through my planner, my calendar for next month, which is May. Like, so many appointments for me and the kids coming up. And just I feel like I'm swimming and appointments and just like everything. But there are some times, which yesterday, I took a day off of work, like a day to myself when nobody was home, and I got my car detailed. I went to physical therapy, I had therapy, and I was just doing all the things that Tawano needed to do and wanted to do with nobody here saying my name or calling me mommy or just like needing me for any, everything, and nothing when they think they do. So it was actually really great. Sorry, I needed some coughing. I just heard one of my kids say shh to the other because I told them to be quiet when I was recording. I think that was cute. Sometimes they do listen to you. But it was just so refreshing yesterday just to get some things done and also not do certain things and to just like kind of break routine of going to work Monday through Friday. But it's just like having the right systems in place and then just trying the systems out, and then if they don't work for you, then trying to find ones that do work for you, and it's just it's literally insane. Literally insane. We are here doing this every day, and there's it's like so many. I feel like you go through so many identity shifts throughout motherhood. Like my oldest will be seven this year, my youngest will be four, and it's just like so many identity shifts that I've gone through in the past seven years. I feel like it's like every quarter or like every couple of months you go through something that you're like, hmm, I do want to do this again, or I don't want to do this again. Sorry, y'all. Coffee again. It's you know, hopefully not gonna be a long day, but I'm preparing and I just love coffee. I just love having it by myself, which I'm doing right now while recording, which is such a rare luxury for me that I just love. But just so many identity shifts, like I was talking about goals. Like, I have goals now that I didn't have like when my oldest was like younger or my youngest was even younger. It's like now I have new goals for like just random things. I will share them when I'm ready because I'm working on them behind the scenes, but just so many, so many things, like ideas for the podcast, like with Cherie, and just it's just so many things. And it's literally, I have had to learn this over and over again. It's about like pivoting and pivoting and pivoting and pivoting, like everyday like systems for the kids, systems for me, but then the next day the system doesn't work, so you're gonna have to try again. I think that's where I get frustrated, is because I'm like, I had a system in place, why are we doing this again? So that's my biggest thing right now is like having systems in place. Just like the routine is pretty good Monday through Friday, but on the weekends is when like you know, the wheels come off. But because it's just like I'm tired, they're tired, it's just like we like me and dad are trying to catch on the things we couldn't do during the week, and that's like our personal stuff, like stuff on the side, and then it's like we have the kids, we have to entertain the kids, and it's just like everything costs money, or like a few things don't cost money, but like if the park obviously is free, but like if it's gonna be a not so warm day, which is today, then it's like I'm not gonna take him to the park. I think it's supposed to rain later, so there's that. We could have gotten some free vitamin D, but our libraries have kids' places to play, and obviously that's free. So it's just a matter of that, and then just like finding things that work for you, but constantly like having to not even repeat and recycle, but just like having to pivot and just okay, system A doesn't work anymore, but it worked in past three months, and let's figure this out. I looked at the time now, it's 9 17 a.m. I'm gonna give it like an hour and a half, two hours until my kids start like showing signs of like breaking down and like being bored or like being overstimulated that I'm gonna have to pivot and figure out what I'm gonna do with them until lunchtime or net time or like until dad gets home. It's just like, oh my gosh. And aside from that, it's like I'm doing laundry right now as we speak, their laundry, like the towels, and just like so many things. And it's like I did not grow up with like a maid or a butler or a nanny or a house manager, none of that. Like my parents did everything, didn't grow up in that world, but I'm just like, I see why, like, also we don't have any of those luxuries like with our kids or in our life right now. But I'm like, I see why people hire like house managers and housekeepers and nannies and just like people, like they just hire like extra hands to help because like having kids, no matter how many you have, whether it's one, two, five, seven, like having one kid is like a lot. And then when you add more, it just like the a lot keeps piling on. But even having just one is a lot because it's like one extra person other than you and your partner or just your however your life is set up that you have to worry about. It's like they come with a whole extra set of like doctor's appointments and play dates and like homework and all this stuff, and it's a lot to go from like none of that to that, and then if you have more than one, it's like however many more you have. Like, so it's like if you have two, it's like times two. It's just so much to keep up with, and then coffee break, and then it's just all the things you have to keep up with with yourself. Like, I had so many appointments last week, like just for myself. I have some this week. Oh, it's already gonna be the last week of April. Goodness. And then one of the kids has an appointment at the end of this week, and okay, so back up before I was gonna talk about that before kids. You could tell me like an appointment date and time, and I would remember it, no problem. Like the doctors, you know, they always call and like confirm or like whatever. And I like would like they would still call, but I wouldn't need it because I'm like, oh, I remember because I had like nothing in my brain, not like nothing, just myself. But now, like when there's an appointment scheduled for me or the kids, like they'll tell me, like the doctor will tell me, I'd be like, Okay, they'll be like, Oh, do you need a card? And I'm like, Do you you still send reminder emails, right? They're like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm like, no, like paperless, just it's like I depend on them to send me a rem a reminder email or to call me and leave a message being like, We're confirming your appointment for XYZ date and time. And it's like, I have my phone with me, and then I put things in my phone calendar, Google calendar, and my paper calendar. And it's like maybe early on I would do it right away so I wouldn't forget. But now I'm just like, there's a million things in my brain. And I'm like, okay, great. This date in time, great. You're gonna email me. Okay, great. And I'll put up my calendar from the email. Okay, great. And it's just like, if I remember when we get home, I'll put it in the calendar. But it is helpful that when they email it, I can just put it in my Google calendar right from the email, and then I will transfer, like writing it in my paper calendar. But oh my god, like I now depend on other people to remind me when appointments are for myself and for my children because there have been so many times, and one, for example, where there's one not this Tuesday, but next Tuesday was supposed to be an appointment, but we can't because my kid has something else going on that day, but like something else going on, like with me, like me and him, and I didn't put the two together. Like, oh, we can't do both of those on the same day. And it's just like the only way I remembered that we couldn't do his first appointment is when they called and confirmed. I was like, oh, right, we can't do that day. So we had to reschedule for this week sometime. But I'm just like, I think that was on my calendar. I can't remember, but I know that they obviously emailed me or text me, and I was like, wait, hold on, we can't do that day. But it's like there's so many things, and then add in like the podcast and the newsletter. It's like when I when we have important things going on with that, I put those in the calendar, like when the episode's gonna drop, like when the newsletter is gonna go out, when our book club newsletter is gonna go out. It's just, I feel like I'm like the momager of my life, of the house, and of my children. And that like slides into being the default parent for literally like remembering everything. And then for one of my kids for their school, it's like, you know how back in the day, if you're a millennial, you would get lunch money every day if you bought lunch. Like if you did not bring your lunch from home, if you buy lunch from school, your parents would give you money every day. But here in 2026, my school, you buy lunch like weeks out, months out, and it's phenomenal because you just prepay and you have an account and they like charge you, and then they don't actually like charge you, charge you until like that day comes and goes because like your kid could be out that day, or like they could have like you know, a snow day or whatever. So if that happens, they'll just refund you. But it's like I've scheduled this lunch all the way up until the last week of school, and I think I did that like a month or so ago. Like, that's so great. So, like when they get when they go to the cafeteria, they just like say their name or put in a pen or whatever, and like we pre-pick their meal, so it's like super easy, and sure, it's so easy for the teachers and the cafeteria workers as well. But it's just phenomenal. But there is one day that I forgot about my kids, forgot to order lunch for my kid on on one Friday, and my mom is like, Wow, that's not like you. It's because I was doing it so fast. I'm usually like on top of things, usually on top of things all the time, and I wasn't that day, and that just you know, just says that I'm always just doing so much. But I had done like Monday through Thursday, and then it happened for a few weeks after that, or like Monday through Thursday, and then I did I skipped Friday just because I was going so fast, but I mean it's been rectified, it's fine. That's just an example of having a million things going on, being the momager of my life, their stuff, and just like stuff just like around the house and just like everywhere. Um, I don't know if you heard them, but they just came in here pretending they're whispering, but they're really not. But yeah, so sorry guys, this coffee is so good and I just I love it. But I know the other moms filming and resonate and are just saying, yes, girl, yes, girl. Like I can hear them saying yes, girl to me. But I'm telling you, man, it's just crazy. And to top it off, I'm the only girl in this house. I have two boys and then their dad, and it's literally like I just heard a blog post about this last week. I'm the own like I'm the only queen in a house full of men and boys. It's just crazy. Half the time I don't know what to do with myself, I don't know what to do with them half the time because I'm like, we're not the same. You're boys, I'm a girl. What do we do here? Or like when them and dad are like, you know, being boys and like being loud and crazy. I'm like, I just want to be over here in bed reading a book, leave me alone. But it's not for the faint of heart, y'all. I know all boy moms out there are like, yes, girl, yes, girl. Um but I'm really excited to have to get Shuri back on here once she gets old and stuff and talk to her experience having a boy and a girl, which is super exciting. Yes. So I'm super excited about that to happen. That'll probably happen, I guess, in the summer. And maybe we'll be on her deck recording when the kids are elsewhere, like the older kids, because the baby will be with her or us, but the older kids will be elsewhere. Yeah, things are getting rowdy now. Um, I timed it incorrectly. I said 9.17, it's now 9.27. I said give it an hour and a half to two hours, and my kids will start breaking down. And they've actually started breaking down now. So I was right about it being a short episode because of this foolishness right here. But about to get to starting the day. I just wanted to share my thoughts, guys, and like, listen, subscribe, and review. And I'll talk to you soon.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Bye. This was another episode of Turn the Page Podcast. Thanks for hanging out.

SPEAKER_02 16:42

Don't forget to like, listen, and subscribe. And also don't forget to leave a review, please, and let us know what you thought about today's episode and all the other episodes. Thanks, guys. Talk to you soon. Bye.