67: What If The Best Mom Choice Is Rest

Postpartum can make you feel like you’re living on shifting ground, and saying “I’m fine” doesn’t magically make it true. Sheree records her first solo episode at nearly four weeks postpartum to mark the moment, tell the truth about what’s helping, and name the fear many moms carry after a hard first experience with postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression.

We get into the biggest change right away: sleep. Not the dreamy, uninterrupted kind, but the kind you protect like it’s medicine. Sheree shares how pumping and constant wake-ups wrecked her rest the first time, and why choosing exclusive formula feeding now is a mental health decision, not a character flaw. She talks about letting go of pressure, getting longer stretches where she can, and using practical supports like white noise and a quick wind-down after night feeds.

From there, we zoom out into the “glimmers” holding her steady: fresh air and sunlight, toddler-friendly outdoor play, noticing the tiny newborn moments with less stress, and dropping the need to over-schedule every day. She also shares realistic postpartum self-care that doesn’t require a full makeover of your life, like electrolyte water before coffee, protein-forward breakfasts, long sensory showers as a reset, and building professional support with a perinatal therapist and a nutritionist.

Connection is a throughline too: audiobooks during late-night feeds, book club, online community, and leaning on a supportive partner while still protecting a little quiet time together. If you’re postpartum now or heading there soon, come listen, then tell us what worked for you. 

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Transcript

Welcome And Postpartum Check-In

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to Turn the Page Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Sisters, best friends, and brunch enthusiasts.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

With relatable episodes that feel like you're chatting with two of your closest friends or sisters. Join us as we turn the page to different topics about losing yourself in motherhood, adulthood, anyhood.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

And finding yourself again through meaningful friendships, shameless piles of unread library books, and endless Amazon package deliveries. Real, honest, and a little bit chaotic, and we talk about it all.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

So grab your favorite drink, put the kids to bed, lace up your sneaks or whatever you need to do and join us. We can't wait to connect with you.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Okay. Alright. Here we go. I guess we're gonna jump into it. I had a minute. I can't even say to myself because I have my newborn, but my husband and my oldest went upstairs. So I figured why not just give it a shot. Yeah. So I'm jumping into just a solo episode. Basically three and a half, almost four weeks postpartum. I'll be four weeks, a month postpartum. Not even four weeks postpartum on my birthday. He'll be a month old two days after that on the 23rd. And I'm kind of using this as just a timestamp and see where I'm at because so far, knock on fucking wood. I hope you heard that. I almost like don't want to say it out loud and jinx it, but postpartum is different this time around. Yeah. I something about being a first-time mom, I think it was so just beautiful, amazing, lovely, and traumatizing and anxiety-inducing in its own right, just like not knowing what to do and being solely with the help of you know my partner, my village, but responsible for keeping another human alive in addition to myself, felt like a lot. It felt like a lot last time around. So I'm just gonna kind of I don't know, maybe go through like what is working or what's different this time around. Mental no in case we go for a third, I don't know.

Sleep As The Non-Negotiable

SPEAKER_01 2:43

But yeah, sleep. Because if you're listening to this and you're a new mom, second time mom, new mom of two, whatever, however you want to say it, thinking about having kids, please mark my words like sleep. And that's obviously easier said than done because it's up to like what your baby's doing, what your kids are doing, what your support looks like. But if you can sleep, whatever you need to do to make that a priority, yeah, you're gonna miss out on some fun activities with your kids, probably, and yeah, it might break up the day or interfere with things that sleep. I don't care. My biggest concern last time was like, oh my god, I'm missing out on this time as a family of three. Like, I just want to be up and hang out with my husband because he was taking the night ship, so like we were just two ships passing the night. We would miss each other hanging out all the time because one of us was asleep, and I was pumping around the fucking clock eight times a day every three hours. So I was sleeping in like an hour and a half, two hour increments last time around. So

Formula Feeding Without The Guilt

SPEAKER_01 3:58

this time I am not choosing to breastfeed or pump. That was really hard for me to make that change last time because it felt like one of those just mom pressures. Like, you have to do it. It's best for your baby. You're being selfish if you're not, blah, blah, blah. Me being uh like well-rested, well-rounded, and not psychotic because I'm sleep-deprived and depressed and anxious. Mom is what's best for my kids, actually. Thanks so much. So that's what I'm prioritizing this time around. And yeah, the biggest factor of that for me last time was pumping. So we're doing exclusively formula feeding this time around. And deciding that while I was pregnant really has helped me come to terms and just accept like this is what we're doing. It's what's best for my family, which maybe sounds counterintuitive or counterproductive, but it is because I've been able to show up, I've been able to participate in our daytime activities, I've been able to get some sleep at night on the nights that I'm on the night shift with baby. I've been able to sleep when he sleeps. I fucking hate that phrase, but yeah, I've been able to kind of get back to my normal roles and activities quicker. Like making a menu for dinner, actually cooking dinner because I want to, not because I have to, or because my husband doesn't cook. He cooks half the time, if not more, still right now. But like cooking because I want to, like, oh, I just saw this recipe I want to try, or like I found this random thing in Aldi that sounds really good. Let me throw it together. Or I don't know, maybe it was a long day with our toddler, and I just want to take something off his plate. So cooking, like straightening things up, not saying that's something I enjoy, but that's something that I've been slowly getting back to, just like picking up. I don't like when things feel cluttered. So that's just been helping, I would say.

Sunlight Fresh Air And Presence

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Getting outside, our toddler is so busy and just wants to be outside all the time. So doing that with her, whether it's out front, just watching her run around or out back on her deck, we've started water play, just buckets and buckets of water and dish soap, and like her little peppa peg figurines, so she can pretend they're swimming in the pool. I I mean it's kept her busy for like an hour, hour and a half twice now. So we're gonna keep doing that. And getting the fresh air and the sunlight for me has made a huge difference. Our oldest was born end of November, so just in the thick of like it was if I could go back, I love my little Sagittarius, but never again. Winter baby, just the peak of like seasonal depression, mixed with postpartum depression, mixed with like I can't go outside because it's cold, or if I do go outside, I'll be uncomfortable. It's cold all the time, it's dark all the time, and just the house we were living in, like, didn't get much sunlight, which these it sounds like such a little thing, but it really makes a huge difference because I've been loving just sitting in our living room and like having the blinds open and letting sunlight in there, or I can sit in the kitchen and get sunlight from the deck, like it's been great in this new place that we're in. So yeah, glimmers for sure for me have been sleep. Like, if I can get longer than sorry, I just got a message that popped up from Zoom. Like, excuse me, if I can get longer than like two or three hours, I'm good. Which sounds so minimal, but obviously multiple times a night. Right now, he'll do like three-hour stretches, which I'll take. Um after he eats and burps right now, guys. I obviously three and a half, almost four weeks postpartum, like this could all change, and I will report back if it does, because again, kind of worried I'm jinxing myself with this, but anyway. Yeah, sleeping, prioritizing sleep, sunlight, fresh air, absolute priority for me. Participating in things with my toddler one-on-one time is great. That doesn't always happen because she's like a lot more attached to my husband, just up his butt. So maybe it's the three of us, but still, like time as a family of three is still great. Another one is just like taking in the newborn phase. I just say that because I was just watching and it's doing his little newborn scrunch because he's starting to wake up. Or like when he like flexes his mouth because he's looking for food while he's asleep. I don't know. Just little things that I think I felt so stressed and overwhelmed and just bogged down by with my first that now I'm like, okay, that was fucking adorable. Like I can just pause and kind of take it in. There's so little and it goes so fast. And that really I think has just helped me kind of be more present and mindful this time around, which also at times makes me sad. I feel bad for my oldest because of the version of me that she got. I didn't know what I was doing. I still don't know what I'm doing, but I knew even less then. And I just really let it like overtake me. So I feel like I'm making up for that and will be making up for that for the rest of my life with her because yeah, I just it was a sad and anxious mess. I didn't like asking for help. I didn't like prioritizing time for myself. I didn't like putting rest before other things. Now that I know that like that has allowed me to be more present and able to participate for things throughout the rest of the day, not just in that little chunk of time where I'm like resetting for a little bit. So yeah, I have a little bit of guilt, I would say, with my first because I was struggling. I was really struggling. Right now, I'm also like I've said three and a half weeks postpartum. Like my husband is still home for a couple more weeks. So again, this could all change and that could look different, but it's what's working right now. Also, starting my day with like an electrolyte water and just a good balanced breakfast has kind of helped set the tone for the day. I'll make like a healthy breakfast for me and my oldest, and we'll sit down and eat together. I'll sit down and eat while she runs around and I feed her like what I'm having. So then she'll just kind of grab it when she wants to pay it any mind. But and coffee, obviously. And not being so rigid, maybe we have a plan for the day or like an activity planned for the day. Maybe we don't. Today it was his one-month pediatrician appointment. So we all got up and got out and did that, and then we just came back, and now, like I said, like they're resting and he's napping, and obviously we're gonna do lunch soon. Just trying to go with the flow a little bit more. I don't feel like I need to do something separate from everybody every single day. But when I am in that mode, I will just tell my husband, like, I'm gonna go take a shower and I'll go take a long ass, hot ass shower because I was not able to do that for nine months, like burn my skin off and choke on the steam, kind of shower with my smell goods, my body wash, my body scrub, and then I'll get out and do my lotion and my body oil and just be able to come down like a new person, fresh PJs, clean face, smelling good, just yeah. So that's been really helpful. Obviously,

Therapy Food And Reset Rituals

SPEAKER_01 13:15

therapy. I yeah, just leaning into having it. It was kind of like a just in case. I'm gonna have this set up specifically with a postpartum or perinatal therapist this time around. And I was so glad I did because I, our first session, I was like, hi, da-da-da-da-da. Like, yeah, I had a lot to process just from like my labor and delivery. I'll get more into that later. But having that as an accountability factor has been really helpful, keeping me on track of just taking care of myself too, on top of taking care of my family. I started with a nutritionist just to make sure I'm fueling and nourishing my postpartum body as best as I can, eventually getting to a point where I'm like back to exercising and kind of leaning into like maybe losing some weight. I don't really want to get into that topic because it just gets toxic for me. But I was really, really, really confident and comfortable with where I was last summer, which was my pre-pregnancy body. And that's how I got into this mess, right, guys? Like, let's be honest. I was having a hot mom summer and I loved every second of it. And I would love to get back to that eventually, one day. So right now I'm just focusing on like what I can do to take care of my body, stay fueled and nourished, keeping up with everybody, getting certain things back in place, my iron, magnesium, thing, just all these things that were deplenished from pregnancy. But also, again, I had a really tough labor and delivery. So just restoring, replenishing, refreshing, getting myself back on track is my focus right now. So, yeah, I'm gonna pause and do another recap because I'm trying to keep track of everything in my mind. Yeah, prioritizing sleep, naps. Oh, just being present, quality time with my family, stepping away from myself if I need it with my like smell good shower, whole like sensory experience. It's been lovely. Starting the day on a healthy foot, electrolyte water before coffee, y'all. Water before coffee, but especially electrolyte water before coffee. Please hydrate before caffeine always, and healthy breakfast, one-on-one time with my daughter, not being too rigid with a routine or like a plan for the day. Leaning into the Sagittarius energy, which is the half the house, my husband and my daughter, just the spontaneous go with the flow, see what happens, has been really beneficial. Trying to stay connected has been really important for me. So, book club, you better believe I did not miss a meeting five days before I gave birth, and two and a half, three weeks postpartum, I was there. Okay, we were talking, I was reading because reading has also been keeping me afloat. My audiobooks right now have been a lifesaver, and then my ebook, I'm not really reading it every day or as much as I'd like to, but that in itself makes it feel like such a treat when it's quiet enough and I'm able to just sit down and look at my Kindle app, I should say, or like my tablet, whatever I'm reading it on to read my physical book. And I'm loving that book right now. So any chance I get to get back to it, it's The Paradise Problem by Christina Lauren, loving it. And then I'm currently listening to Party of Two by Jasmine Gilroy. Gilory. Sorry, girl, but love all your books. I just can't pronounce your last name. Or I just need to figure out how to pronounce it. So I'm listening to that. I've been flying through my audiobooks because obviously I'm listening to them when I'm up in the middle of the night with him. And just like quiet moments throughout the day. So yeah, reading and then connecting through reading, through my book club, through my bookstagram, which check it out if you want some book recs or just like cozy lifestyle mom content to consume. Cause I feel like there's so much happening on social media that it's nice to just have like a niche or a set of profiles that you have that you connect to. So it's at bookish and busy underscore on Instagram. Just a little shameless plug there because I'm loving connecting with book lovers, but also moms who are prioritizing like squeezing in that time for themselves. Late night, after bedtime, nap time, whenever you can do it, do it because it's so important.

Books Marriage And Small Anchors

SPEAKER_01 18:13

And I don't know, maybe I save the best for less, but just my husband, you guys, just a little light brag. I yeah, he's been amazing. We had about God almost two weeks off before we had this baby. So we just hung out with our oldest. We like got rest, we were out and about, like, we did all the things that we knew would be hard to do once he was here, and I'm so grateful for that time. And then since he's been here, my husband has been just a powerhouse, truly. I mean, like I said, I'll get more into my labor and delivery and postpartum stay. But there through all of it, my mom was like, he really did not leave your side unless he was getting you food, which is true. And just really like a testament to how he always is, but how he has been, especially this time around, making sure that I'm taking care of myself, making sure I'm fed, eating, taking my oldest if I even look like I need a break, prioritizing time with the baby, too. He's been really great about that. And just getting like really trying to protect the time to ourselves at the end of the day when they're both asleep for that little sliver of time has been really, really great. We're not always doing something, we're not always like talking or watching a show or doing something interactive together, but that comfortable silence where we're both just doing our own thing next to each other is so important. The day is so rowdy and chaotic. So having that slowdown time together is amazing. And yeah, I protect it at all costs. And I will also kind of piggyback on that. Like with him, and also time outside has been, he's always been a planter gardener, whatever. Like he has his little indoor grow lights, he grows things from the seed. So I have been trying to join in this time around. That's also part of what we're doing outside. So I'm growing a little like herb garden. I've got thyme, sage, of course, and oregano going in one. I've starting spinach. What else is in that one? Peas and basil in another one. I'm also doing, I've got flowers. I've got Cosmo, Xenia's, and Marigold because I wanted to make sure obviously they're cat safe. So when they come inside for the night and they're under the grow lights, I don't have to worry about him. And then in my bigger pot, I've got daisies, of course, going and sunflowers. So it's been maybe about a week and a half. I'm just getting little sprouts, which is so exciting and making me want to keep going. So yeah, I'm gonna keep going and just see what happens. I don't have a green thumb, and this is not something that I'm proficient in. I'm just trying it out. And I'm hoping to stick with it because I'm enjoying just the routine of like getting them out in the morning, switching them to the back deck by the afternoon, bringing them back inside for the evening, and just having that be something that I'm doing with my husband. And our daughter loves to be outside and like water the plants with us. She's loved to like get dirty and I think the soil and the potters and everything. I think eventually we're gonna dig up. We have a little garden area out front and put in already bloomed flowers just to have it looking nicer out front.

The Pillars Keeping Me Steady

SPEAKER_01 22:13

So yeah, like I'm really doing everything in my absolute power to fight this postpartum depression and anxiety beast. Three and a half weeks in so far it's working. Again, that could all change because it's not up to me. Hormones are a bitch, sleep deprivation is a bitch, you know. So I am humbled enough to realize that like I could feel like shit tomorrow and it could all go downhill. It might a month from now, it might next year. I'm hoping it doesn't. And this is just like what has been working so far to keep me sane because I was really, really scared about this time around. And especially having two kids to be okay for, one that's maybe old enough to recognize if I'm not okay, you know. So at three weeks and five days postpartum, this is what's working. I'm gonna report back and see like what has changed, but yeah, my glimmers right now, my glimmers, I'm holding on to them with a fucking death grip, you guys. Because I really just want to make it out of this, like okay, and who knows if we decide to do it again. I want to be able to feel like I could. So protecting sleep at all costs, napping when I need to, and pr prioritizing like sleeping when he is sleeping throughout the night. It's not realistic during the day, motherfuckers who like preach that. It doesn't, it doesn't work. But at night, yeah, you better sleep when he's sleeping. So if he's up and eating, yeah, I'm on my phone scrolling or listening to my audiobook. The second I put him down, I'm winding back down and trying to go back to sleep myself. Sleep sounds, white noise. We've got one in every room of the house. Do you hear me? The living room, the nursery, my toddler's room, our room, every room has a white noise machine, or a Google or Alexa that can cast white noise. Like we all need it at this point. My husband uses it at this point. So protecting sleep, number one. Number two, fresh air and sunlight, vitamin D. I even take it in supplement form because come on. Starting the day, taking care of my body with water, electrolyte powder, and a healthy breakfast, lots of fiber and protein, seeking out support through therapy, a nutritionist, leaning on family and eventually friends. They're, you know, it's just like early days for him right now, but for the ones that are close by, yeah, absolutely. But right now, staying connected to my friends, to mom communities online, to my book club, to you guys. Our podcast and newsletter community has been really important. Um not stressing myself out with a routine, not stressing myself out with like being super rigid or like sticking to something if it doesn't feel like it fits for the day or whatever. Time to myself to reset my smell goods, my sensory experiences, my shower. I might sit outside on the deck and close my eyes, you know. But that's been really helpful. Yeah, and just leaning on my husband, leaning on the people around me, whether they've been through it or not, but really just like asking for help because that's not something that I do very easily. All of these things have been so important. Quality time with my toddler, because that's also allowing me to just heal my inner child, do something fun or creative, because of course, and yeah, just like listening to my body, doing what I can, and I will report back and let you know how this is going. But these are my key things that I'm sticking to and doing. I'm honestly protecting all of it at all costs, but my priorities right now are to get sleep, to nourish my body, to get time outside at least once a day. The rain and the weather has been like ridiculous here lately, but even if I'm just sitting near a window and getting sunlight, but ideally outside, breathing in fresh air, reading, time to myself with my smell goods, and staying connected. Those are my pillars, those are my priorities right now that I'm sticking to. They might change in a few weeks when my husband goes back to work, but just a reminder for me to prioritize what I know works, even if I'm only able to pull from a few of them a day. So what I'm gonna do right now is get off of here because I've been yapping, I've been all over the place. I thank you if you have stuck with me to the end. It's my first solo episode. My sister does these a lot, but I don't even think that I said from the beginning. This is Cherie. If you're seeing solo episode or just the title, you might think it's Tawana because I've also heard that we sound alike. But this is Cherie. Cherie's first solo episode at three weeks postpartum. It's almost a month postpartum, it's almost my 32nd birthday. May is my favorite month of the year because I feel like I just come alive. So I'm really leaning into that too. I will report back and let you know how things are going once I'm like a few more weeks in. Hopefully, things are still going well. Hopefully, I'm still feeling human and not like a zombie. But like I was saying, what I'm about to do is get off of here and stop yapping. I'm gonna go have some lunch and maybe watch a show before this kid wakes up for another bottle. Yeah, thanks for hanging out. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being a part of our community and caring what we have to say. I hope some of this resonated with somebody. Like I said, whether you're going through it now or not, maybe you're going through it later, maybe you've been through it and you felt alone. But yeah, thank you for hanging out. Thank you for connecting and listening to what has worked for me so far. Three weeks postpartum. If you're also postpartum, I don't care what phase of postpartum you are, a week, a month, a year, 10 years, let me know what worked for you. Let me know what helped, what didn't help. If you struggled or had a tough time, please also let me know because I please have been there. My first week was really, really rough, like that, just like processing things mentally. So yeah, let me know. None of us are alone in this, and none of us should feel alone in this. So please reach out, connect, respond to our newsletter, respond to us on Instagram. We're always like active somewhere. So okay. Thanks again for listening. Like, listen, subscribe and review to Turn the Page Podcast, and I will talk to you guys soon. Bye.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

All right, everyone. This was another episode of Turn the Page Podcast. Thanks for hanging out. Don't forget to like, listen, and subscribe. And also don't forget to leave a briefing, please, and let us know what you thought about today's episode and all the other episodes. Thanks, guys. Talk to you soon. Bye.