72: What If Boredom Is The Point

Your partner going back to work can hit harder than you expect, especially when you’re still postpartum and the baby is changing by the day. I’m Sheree, back with a solo check-in as we get ready for the end of paternity leave (for hubby) and I’m telling the truth about the emotions that come with it: I’m genuinely sad to lose the built-in support, and I’m also trying to feel strong enough to handle the next phase of maternity leave with two kids on my own...most of the week.

From there, I get into the parenting topic that’s been living in my head lately: screen time with a preschooler while you’re caring for a newborn. I share why I aimed for minimal screens early on, what I’ve learned about overstimulation, and why pulling my daughter away from a device can be so hard. We talk about the real downside when kids get too locked in, like missing potty cues, hunger, and tiredness, and how that creates a bigger meltdown later. At the same time, I don’t villainize screens. I talk about using shows like Bluey and Gracie’s Corner in a way that supports learning, and I share an educational app we’ve been loving (Keiki) for tracing, numbers, hygiene play, and language growth.

If you’re looking for practical screen-free activities, I’ve got you: arts and crafts, paint, toddler nail polish for a rainy moment, puzzles, gardening, cooking “shake, shake, shake”, dance parties, reading, audiobooks, and the undefeated option of water play. I also share how I’m trying to be less rigid, build screen-free chunks into the day, and slowly get back out into the world after a tough delivery, including my first attempt at driving myself to an acupuncture consult. 

If any of this sounds like your house right now, listen along, share it with a friend who needs the reassurance, and leave a review so we can keep making episodes that feel like real life.

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Transcript

Welcome And What We’re About

0:04

Welcome to Turn the Page Podcast. Sisters, best friends, and brunch enthusiasts. With relatable episodes that feel like you're chatting with two of your closest friends or sisters, join us as we turn the page to different topics about losing yourself in motherhood, adulthood, anyhood. And finding yourself again through meaningful friendships, shameless piles of unread library books, and endless Amazon package deliveries. Real, honest, and a little bit chaotic. So grab your favorite drink, put the kids to bed, lace up your sneaks or whatever you need to do and join us. We can't wait to connect with you. Hey

Paternity Leave Ends Soon

0:42

guys, I am back. This is Cherie again with another solo episode. I had I had another minute. My husband and my daughter went upstairs, and baby boy is asleep. It's my husband's last week of paternity leave, you guys. I am sick about it. I'm like actually really sad for him to go back to work because it's been really nice to just have this time together to focus on our family. But part of me is also standby. This week. It's Monday, so we've got exactly a week. I'm feeling a little bit more for lack of better words, independent, just kind of like strong and ready to tackle this next phase. Because this I think will be the true test. Again, I'm still, I still won't be like in real life, but I'll be navigating the rest of my maternity leave by myself for like 80% of the time. Luckily, he does have like two weekdays off, so he'll be home and it'll feel like this for two days out of the week at least. But the rest of the five days are mine. The rest of the five night shifts are mine. Oh in hindsight, doing this with one kid was a walk in the bar, like a piece of cake. So it'll be interesting to see what it's like with two in two very different stages. So I've been trying to get my mom hat on and just think of like ways to keep my oldest busy. There's really nothing I can prepare for with the baby. And he's already changing so much from just when he was born. So he's like staying up a little bit longer during the day, which is great. He had his days and his nights backwards for a little bit. Sage definitely struggled with that longer, if I'm remembering correctly. It was honestly all a blur. But yeah, he's starting to get like longer stretches while he's awake during the day. So just trying to figure out what that looks like so I can still like really pour into my toddler or preschooler, honestly. I don't even know if she's still considered a toddler.

Why We Aim For Fewer Screens

3:23

She's three and a half, but so yeah, I pressed record thinking I was going to talk about one thing, but I don't know, maybe this leads me into something else that's kind of been on my mind, which is navigating this like screen-free or like minimal screen space that I've been trying to pursue with my daughter. And I say minimum screen because she's not screen-free, like she'll watch YouTube or like super simple songs, Roku channel on TV, and like she'll watch TV when she's with my in-laws. But I my goal was to not really have really like any screens in her first year and a half minimum, but at least two years. I didn't want like tablet or phone use like that. Like TV would be on mostly for entertainment. We would do Gracie's Corner and like Bluey. So also educational in the sense that like she was learning from the Gracie's Corner songs. And then like Bluey has a lot of real like almost life lessons for the little ones, like social, emotional skills. Even like today, we were blowing up a balloon and she wanted to take it outside, and we were like, it's gonna pop in the grass. Like, remembering Bluey and keepy upy, like it's nice to be able to kind of call back to something that she can understand and equate real life to. So it's not all bad. But what I struggle with, with her in particular, is if she's too overstimulated or like too locked in to screens or device time, one pulling her away from it is really hard. But two, she just loses awareness of like if she has to go potty, if she's hungry, if she's feeling tired, like all of these things get lost in the sauce because she's so locked in. And then it really creates a monster for us to have to unravel. So I'm balancing this desire to be like as screen minimal as possible for the rest of my leave and like thinking of activities and things to keep her busy, and also succumbing to like sometimes I'm gonna turn on YouTube, sometimes I'm gonna give her my phone, she'll have the tablet, and like like just it like that's life, and that's the phase that we're in right now. Like, I'm gonna be tired, she's gonna be bored sometimes. Which also the just to I don't know, sidebar being bored is not the end of the world, and I we are really working on that with her too, because her new phrase right now is I'm boring. She's trying to say she's bored or like it's boring. I'm like, okay, be bored. Like being bored's not a bad thing. Being bored fosters and encourages independent play, it encourages creativity, and like it allows for her to want to problem solve and like figure things out for herself. It opens up the door for being outside more, especially when the weather is nice. So I'm like kid, be bored. Like we had to be bored, you can be bored. I want her to have a childhood of like exploration and adventure, not just I don't know, not just screens, and that's no shade to any, like everybody parents the way they need to parent because every kid is every kid is different. It's not any shade or judgment. I'm not even thinking about other kids right now, but our kid, like the overstimulation is real, and I know that because I feel that way. Like if a TV is on and there's music going, or there's toys blaring, or people are talking to me, or there's crying happening, like too many sensory outputs at once cause me to get irritable and overstimulated. And I see that in her. So yeah, I'm trying to figure out what it looks like to keep her busy slash let her be bored, really only pulling in like screens and devices when I need to, but also letting go of some of that rigidity because it's not going to be perfect and it's not the end of the world, like screens are not all terrible.

Educational Screen Time That Helps

7:56

I actually found this app for her at the beginning of my leave. Well, really, like when we brought him home, so a couple weeks into it, but it's called Keiki, K-E-I-K-I. And you put in like their age and their educational developmental stage that they're at, and it highlights games for them to learn, but they're still really fun. Like she asks for Keiki every day, multiple times a day. But the stage that she's on right now, it's learning like tracing letters, tracing numbers, we're identifying foods through a fun cooking game. We're learning hygiene by like bathing our buddy, and so she's learning a lot, and she's also able to connect, like, oh, I'm brushing my buddy's teeth. Like, I love to brush my teeth, so yeah, just fostering like encouraging more language use, more skill development, like it's not all bad. And I've seen it be really good. I've seen my nephews really learn from screen time and like be so smart from YouTube and apps and things like that. So it's not all bad. I think I need to remind myself of that too. That like if you use it the right way and there's boundaries around it, it can be a good thing, and also it can be a good thing for me. That can be my Hail Mary on some days when I need to just rest, or maybe I need her to be locked in so that I can just focus on the baby, or like, I don't know, fall asleep, take a freaking nap. Yeah, so I'm learning to kind of balance, like, things aren't always gonna be black and white in parenthood in general, especially with a toddler slash preschooler, especially with a newborn, especially with both, like my hands are gonna be full. So,

Screen Free Chunks And Activity Ideas

9:42

but I am also figuring out what maybe a screen-free hour, a screen-free chunk of the day looks like. So, we've done a lot of like arts and crafts. She loves artsy creative stuff. So, trying to just have like something new on hand or like rotating through them so it feels new because that's my baby Sag, Sagittarius. They love novelty, they love newness, they love change of scenery. I have learned that from the past 12 years with my Sagittarius husband. So, really leaning into like what works for her personality too. She likes to be able to like go with the flow and do what she wants. So, free play, independent play, free play when it comes to creativity, maybe just like giving her paint and paper, and she just does what she wants with it, as opposed to like a coloring page or something that has more limitations or boundaries works really well for her. She saw me painting my nails one day because I again was early postpartum, and I didn't want to get them done because I didn't know when I'd be able to go back. So I did them at home, which by the way lasted like three days, and I remembered why I don't like nail polish anymore. Like I'd rather just get gel or dip. Anyway, I digress, and then she wanted me to paint her nails, and I, of course, my anxiety was like, I don't know, this nail polish might be too toxic for like your little nails. So I bought her some toddler nail polish. I haven't opened it yet. I'm waiting for next week to pull that out for a moment when baby's asleep and she's bored. But yeah, lots of paint, lots of markers. She actually joined us for our paint and sip. She did not sip, but she painted and she loved it. So I've got canvases left over, I've got paint left over. I'll probably be leaning into that. You guys, water play. Water play. You cannot go wrong with water play, even if it's her standing at the sink washing her hands for five fucking minutes. Water and soap are my best friends. This little girl's best friends. Outside in the kitchen, she has little like pepp pig figurines. So she calls it, we have like a big bucket, she calls it her pool. Her friends go swimming in the pool. Or outside, we have a hose and she can play in the sprinkler, she can play with her friends in the pool out there. Sometimes that keeps her busy for an hour, sometimes for five minutes. So I'm also learning with her and with my husband, but like from a parenting aspect, I'm learning how to be less rigid and go with the flow because I can really like thrive and do well on routines and scheduling, but that doesn't work well for half of our household. Like, half of us don't want to do the same thing every day and don't want to be told like this is the structure of the day and you have to commit to it. So really trying to figure out what that looks like and just be like more flexible is my ongoing learning experience. Puzzles, she loves puzzles right now. Anything outside, so like if we're planting or gardening, digging in the dirt, water can also come into that too. Cooking lately, like she loves to season things. We call it shake, shake, shake. So if I'm about to season something while I'm cooking, I'll bring her in. Or the non-pizzas that I talked about. If you listen to my last solo episode, she made her own for dinner one day, really encouraging like independence and creativity and mess because things are gonna get messy sometimes. I see so much of myself in her when she's like playing with something or painting or playing with water, and she's like, Oh, it's messy. I'm like, it's okay, mess is okay. Definitely kind of relearning a lot for myself, kind of reparenting myself a little bit and just letting go of some unnecessary boundaries and rigidities that I have has really come from has been like a positive that's come out of parenting and screen-free time. Because again, we're not screen-free. I cannot claim to be. I don't know how people keep their kids 100% away from screens all day, every day. Like that is truly you deserve a gold medal. But the reframe is like having screen-free moments, screen-free segments of the day, screen-free activities, really. Also, like chores, for lack of better words. She loves to feed our cat, she loves to help with the baby. My mom actually gave me a good idea yesterday to like give, not give her, but like put something to the side for her. She said a dollar. I said, Are you crazy? A dollar is steep because this girl is like in our baby's face. So maybe a quarter for every time she does something, like throws a diaper away, or like helps give him his passy, or helps feed him. So then we can have it tucked away for when we are running into Dollar Tree for like planting supplies or like a birthday card, and she decides she wants goldfish or a toy or whatever, like just have it put to the side for her to be able to use her own money, maybe even learning some money management. I don't know. Like everything feels like it will be building up to something bigger one day. So I feel like that's why I put a lot of pressure on myself to just like make it worthwhile. But yeah, yeah, getting creative for myself too. Lots of movement, lots of dance parties we do over here. We love to sing and dance. So leaning into that a lot. Reading is a great one. I even have found some like kid audiobooks on Spotify. If she's not wanting to sit and like actually read and be able to focus, just something to listen to, some quiet time.

Driving Again After A Tough Birth

15:47

And we're gonna be trying to get out of the house a little bit more to I'm starting to feel more comfortable driving. I haven't driven yet. I think today will be my trial run because I'm gonna go to an acupuncture consultation appointment. Surprise, I haven't told my sister yet, but so yeah, I might drive myself just because it's like in the middle of the day and it's it's not too far. So just see how it feels to drive after what was a pretty traumatic delivery. So postpartum recovery has been a little bit slower than I expected, but yeah, I'm gonna attempt that and just see how it feels because I'll start. I also walked with the stroller walked with them today. So I'll start like going places, going to trails and parks, things out of the house, library, story time. That will help too, and also just help me get used to navigating the world with two kids, guys. Are you kidding? I have two kids. It's so crazy to me still. Probably because, like I said, I'm still in a bubble. I have not really like been out and about with just them by myself or had any kind of routine or like rhythm with just them by myself. So I'll report back and let everybody know how that's going because I am actually kind of eager to see. Yeah, but speaking of the acupuncture consultation appointment, that is in an hour and a half. So I'm gonna go have some lunch and watch an episode of Housewives. That's actually what I was gonna do when I had a free moment, and I was like, you know what, let me be productive and record. But I'm gonna go watch Housewives, Atlanta or Rhode Island. I gotta see which one is has a new episode. And then go to this appointment and tackle the rest of the day.

Plans For The Week And Goodbye

17:44

But some things that I reminded myself to report back on Sage start soccer tomorrow. We have a little, it's called summer camp, but it's really just like a 30-minute once-a-week themed activity at our little I don't even know what it's called. It's called the Bunny Hive. If you have one near you, you should definitely check it out. It's like a they call it a social club for kids, which I love for I think kindergarten, age, and under, even like newborn newborn activities. But she we won a summer camp giveaway for June, and then I had already signed her up for July. So this week or this month is the theme is Escape to the Cape. So she's got that starting this week. We'll do some walks. And then my youngest nephew's birthday is next week, so we're celebrating by doing mini golf this week. So we've got like some things coming up we're looking forward to. It's gonna be a good week. I'm claiming it, and the adjustment to my husband going back to work will be fine, but I will report back on all of those things. I don't know what's up with this kid, but let me figure it out so I can eat lunch in peace. Love you guys. Like, listen, subscribe, and review. Bye. Alright, everyone. This was another episode of Turn the Page Podcast. Thanks for hanging out. Don't forget to like, listen, and subscribe. And also don't forget to leave a review, please, and let us know what you thought about today's episode and all the other episodes. Thanks, guys. Talk to you soon. Bye.